The YouTube Comments That Instantly Make You A Loser

I'm quite an avid YouTube browser. I'll watch many clips every week ranging from the hilarious to the musical to the amazing to the inspirational and to the plain stupid. You can often come across a rank video that makes you question why you ever wasted precious minutes of your life watching it. But then you realise that there are comments under the video. Lots of comments. Lots of loser comments. The sheer volume of attention seeking people on YouTube makes me sick. What was once a place to watch videos is now a place to have your brain liquefied by the unbelievable stupidity of YouTube users' through text and not video.

In no particular order, here are the comments that instantly make you a "YouTube Loser":

1. "[Number of Dislikes] + [Attempted Witty Connection to the Video]"

The most cancerous comment on YT.

2. "[Insert Name] sent me here"

I really don't care.

3. "Thumbs up if..."

This should be considered spam. Every time.

4. Complaining About YouTube Ads

Alright, just let YT crumble to bits. It'll be fun.

5. Dropping the F-Bomb in your comment

Hardcore rating? Nil.

6. Exchanging 'Orgasm' for 'Eargasm' in a music clip comment

Was ok at first, until everyone joined in.

7. Attempting to point out why PS3 is better than XBox or vice versa

It's like watching a horrible, technological tennis match - that never ends.

8. "My favourite part was 0:00 to [End of Video]"

Just write "Awesome video" then.

9. "I think I broke/raped/destroyed the replay button"

What? Quick! Contact YT Support to get them to fix that bug!

10. Quoting a video directly without including anything from your own brain

You are clearly too stupid, even for the internet.

11. "Press [number] repeatedly"

Can be funny at times, if you're 12.

12. "Watch my Channel here: [link]" when your channel either stinks or is unrelated

Blatant self-promotion can only take your so far.

13. Claiming you can do something better than a professional athlete

No you can't dunk better/run faster/pedal longer/jump higher than that person. No.

14. "I liked the part where [mention something reoccurring from the video]"

Aren't you clever?

15. Attempting to state your case in a political discussion

Try it. You won't reach a valid conclusion.

16. "The [object] is now diamonds" in an Old Spice video

This works when not used in an Old Spice video. Trust me.

17. "Mindf*ck"

This existed well before Inception, but it that movie seems to have made the term get misused everywhere.

18. Using the word 'gay' when not referring to a homosexual

"This video is gay" is very rarely appropriate on YT.

19. Using the word 'faggot' when not referring to a bundle of sticks

"[user] is a faggot" is a frightening comment. If sticks can operate computers then we are doomed.

20. Telling people how to play snake on a video

I don't care. Go back to the 90's please. Were you even born then?

21. Making an unnecessary Chuck Norris joke

Too scared to write anything negative here

Will add more soon